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    不想騙自己,還是愛你

    曾經以為隨著時間的漸漸流逝,會把你徹底忘記的沒想到越是刻意的想要忘記卻越是忘不掉。雖然分手這么久了,可是我還能記得我們之間的點點滴滴。一度覺得當初我對你那么好,你卻對我很一般。每天我上線時你早已在線了,我總是希望你先開口跟我講話,可是我沉不住氣每次老是我先開口。我安慰自己也許你沒看到,也許你很忙,你有天會跟我主動說話的。可是之后每天如故,依然是我主動開口,所以我總是抱怨你心里沒有我。你卻說我連這個也計較,誰先說話不都一樣么!是也許是沒有什么不同,但我只需要你有一次主動就行,僅僅一次,可是你沒有!現在想想也是我計較這干嘛呢,你已經是我的女朋友這不就勝過一切么!我總是回憶你對我不好,卻忘記了你對我的好!我比你大那么多,你一個小姑娘卻跟了我,而我卻對你百般挑剔,覺得你這做的不對那做的不好。我記得我把手機甩壞時,你絲毫沒有猶豫就把你的手機給我用。我也記得好幾次的吵架,都是我起的由頭,而每次你都原諒了我,還有我打了你也沒跟我計較,再一次的原諒了我!我一直自信我是個好男人,我也說了不會讓你受一點點的委屈,沒想到你所受的委屈都是我給的!我比你大應該讓著你,可我沒有,我一點都不成熟!你想出去工作,我沒有答應,我當然有私心,你那么漂亮,被別人拐走了我怎么辦,我說了愛情本來就是自私的!其實你不知道我有多怕會失去你,記得你跟我說過你以前的男朋友跪下來求你都不能使你回心轉意,當時我就知道了你是如此堅決的一個人,所以我就想我可不能步他的后塵,我一定好好待你,好好愛你,讓你找不出跟我分手的理由。也許是我一次次的傷了了你,讓你感覺到心寒,終于你提出了分手。都是我得錯,是我一手葬送了我們的感情。現在我都想不明白當初我怎么會那么對你,想不明白我怎么會說出那么傷你的話,傷你也同時傷了我!難道真如常言所說得到了就不再珍惜了么!那段時間我悲傷,沉淪在對你的思念里,當然也恨你了!我加你為好友只是想跟你說句對不起,想要你原諒我。可是我再也聯系不上你。后來我也覺得我終究會把你忘記,不再愛你可是原來忘記你是這么不容易的事情!分別后你有了對象。當然我也找了,都說忘記一個人最好的方法就是開始另一段感情!你倆截然不同,不過她和你一樣也是個好女孩,所以我覺得她肯定會取代你在我心里的位置,我想我會向愛你一樣的愛她,可是她沒給我機會,沒開始就結束了!傷害你是真,可我愛你也是真!我愛你猶如你不愛我一樣堅定,你肯定覺得我早就放手了吧,其實不然,愛情就像拉皮筋,傷的最歷害的往往是最后放手的那個人!
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