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    死亡,邊緣。

    死亡比任何的夢都更加真實,死亡是所有夢的終結者。而我們幾乎把自己的整個生命都投注到夢上,那就是為什么死亡會成為每個人最忌諱的事情。當我寫下死亡這兩個字的時候我一點不覺得有什么可忌諱的。這是所有生命最終的歸宿住在一個四十多平米的房間里。一點點的聲音就會有大大的回響。就像只要稍稍有點想你,就會有很多的想念來回應。我盡量將屋子裝飾的溫馨一點,后來我才明白裝飾的在溫馨也不溫暖。這已經是我因為生病辭掉的第二份工作了。身體是革命的本錢,我知道。越是吐越是吃,只是想在吐得時候有東西可吐,而不是胃液。朋友說:“不要拿自己的身體開玩笑,不要用折磨身體的方式緩解心里的疼痛。”我鄭重的問自己有么?其實,還沒笨到那種地步。可是當我吐完胃里僅存的那點東西時,我卻開心的笑了。自從她離開后,我發現自己似乎真的生活不能自理。我現在完全聽從身體的指示來做事。不是時間到了才去吃飯,是餓了才去吃飯,有時一天只餓那么一次。不是時間到了才去睡覺。是困了才去睡覺,有時困了已經到了凌晨。不是吃了各種東西才營養不良,是營養不良才去吃各種東西,有時吃的東西也沒營養到哪里去。不知是因為想你才生病,還是因為生病才想你。我害怕失去,害怕受傷,害怕黑夜。害怕一切可以稱之為害怕的東西。膽小是件可恥的事情,我承認我既膽小又可恥。好多網友都問我,日志是真實故事還是杜撰?如果人生真的可以杜撰,可以決定人物的生死,那么我一定會讓她長命百歲。如果把人的一生高度濃縮,那么我們的整個生命就像是一起高空墜落事件。人剛一出生就已經從高空向下墜落,下面是死亡這塊巨大的沼澤地,在這稍縱即逝的掉落過程中,大多數人都力圖在空中做出各種復雜和高難度的動作,以博取他人的喝彩和歡呼。有時想想與其這樣病著還不如死的好。因為除了死亡之外,再也沒有什么能夠包治百病的靈丹妙藥。死亡是最終的避難所。文。莫小北QQ:540575981
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