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    為什么跟越親的人越沒耐心?

    為什么跟越親的人越沒耐心?

    很多人對親人發了脾氣,事后很懊惱,可下次還會如此。

    究其原因,是親人的包容讓我們太放肆。假如對領導、同事等外人發脾氣,很可能損害彼此的關系。因此,我們在溝通中會有意無意地注意方式方法。而親人”是比外人”更穩固的一種關系,我們知道,即使言行出格,他們也不會計較、不會記恨;即使拿他們當出氣筒,也能獲得寬容、理解、忍耐、體諒。

    家庭是一個相對安全、包容的環境。在外受了委屈,我們會回家宣泄。在這樣一個能給予心理安全感的環境里,我們就容易忘記怎樣好好說話,以致對家人使用嘲諷、歪曲、夸大、貶低的語言。

    除此之外,我們對親近的人心理預期太高了,認為他們應該支持自己,一旦碰到不順,就容易形成心理落差,覺得別人不理解我也就罷了,怎么你也不理解”,越想越生氣。

    當肆意將外人給自己的傷害轉移給配偶時,我們沒有看到對方默默端來的一杯熱茶中包含的關心;當不耐煩地打斷父母善意的嘮叨時,我們不曾看到老人無言地離開,在屋子里悄悄傷懷。親人們無怨無悔地承受我們的傷害,因為他們離我們最近,與我們最親,能用愛包容我們。

    有網友曾算過一個與父母相處的時間,大概只有幾十天到兩百多天,與其他親近的人在一起的寶貴時光也是有限的。從現在開始,不要把粗暴的態度、不客氣的指責留給親近的人。試著從下面3方面改變自己。

    1、換個角度看問題。

    人們都希望自己是對的,對方必須接受自己的意見。站在親人的角度考慮問題,想想他們的出發點是好的,學會理解他們。( 感恩)假如他們不停嘮叨,可以選擇適當的方式表達自己內心的想法。告訴他們,你已經知道問題所在,讓他們相信你能解決好。

    2、讓親人把話說完。

    氣頭上往往很難把話說清楚,因此,英國歷史學家帕金森和管理學家拉斯托姆吉,在合著的《知人善任》一書中談到:發生爭吵,切記免開尊口,讓別人把話說完,虛心誠懇地傾聽,才能彼此交心,把事情說清楚。”風平而后浪靜,浪靜而后水清,水清而后游魚可數”,待風平浪靜后再說,可以避免傷了感情。

    3、平息怒氣三法則。

    心理學研究發現,人在憤怒時會出現意識狹窄”現象,死盯著負面信息不放。在自己快要情緒失控前,試著停下來不說話,或者離開現場,讓自己冷靜下來。春秋時的藍田侯王述曾被人罵上門來。他始終默默面壁而立,直到那人離開,才轉身繼續辦事。美國心理學家歐廉·尤里斯教授提出,降低聲音,繼而放慢語速,胸部向前挺直,能有效平息怒氣。

    俗話說,忍得一時氣,免得百日憂”。記住,對親人讓步不丟面子,而是出于愛。

    1. 安慰失去親人的話
    2. 感恩親人作文
    3. 北上廣打拼的游子,為何遠離親人,仍義無反顧?
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