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    搞笑情書:我哪里對你好

    靜:

    情人節那天你問我哪里對你好,我一時想不起來,經常這兩天的思考,我終于想到如下這些我對你好的地方:
    一、沒認識你之前我拿獎學金,認識你之后我考試補考。沒認識我之前你補考,認識我之后你拿獎學金。
    二、我忍著讓別人笑話的恥辱給你洗衣服。
    三、一個蘋果,都給你吃,兩個蘋果,我把大的給你吃。
    四、同吃一條魚,我讓你吃大身,我自已吃魚頭。
    五、你這么難看,我還說你漂亮。我這么帥,你還說我難看。
    六、出去玩都是我花錢,回來我只能吃蘿卜。(你省下錢當然可以自已吃魚翅了!)
    七、認識你之前我沒交過女朋友。認識我之前你交了兩個男朋友(高中一個,初中一個。)
    八、你生氣時,我讓你當出氣筒。我生氣時,我把自已當出氣筒。
    九、你想吻我的時候就可以吻我。我想吻你的時候還要經過你同意。
    十、你經常打我,我從來沒打過你。
    十一、有一次你問我如果你愛上別的男人了我會怎樣,我說我要殺了那個男的。我又問你如果我愛上別的女人了你會怎樣,你說你要閹了我。
    十二、我買200塊的衣服給你,騙你才50塊。你買30塊的手表給我,騙我要300塊。
    十三、那次你說你想要跟我做愛,我興沖沖地跑了兩里路買來了安全套,你卻說你只是要試試我是不是好男生,還罵我賤。
    十四、我把你的耳機用壞了,我買新的賠你,你把我的自行機丟了,連句對不起也沒說。
    十五、你生病一次,我要瘦兩斤,我生病一次,你反而胖兩斤(你來寢室陪我,吃光了我所有的零食。)
    十六、我沒嫌你矮,你卻嫌我高。
    十七、你來我家,我睡沙發,我去你家,還是我睡沙發。
    十八、我媽對你那么好,你媽對我一點也不好。
    十九、那次去看露天演唱會,你騎在我頭上看得津津有味,我被你壓在下面在人群中流淚。
    二十、我家的狗生了,我把最好看的一條送給你。你卻把你養得快要死掉的金魚送給我,害我才養兩天就得給它們送終。
    二十一、我給你洗了N次的襪子,從末給你丟過一個,你只在我生病的時候給我洗了兩雙襪子,就各丟一個。
    阿康

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